Ego State Relational Units and Gifts of Love

According to the Personality Adaptation model, development is based on the interaction between 
nature and nurture, and through this course we are going to focus on the nurture part of the 
equation, in order to see how individuals cleverly adapt to the family system to get strokes and 
support. Some of those adaptive strategies are positive, and some are negative: as children, we 
often give up our spontaneity, in order to experience closeness and proximity, and love from our 
caregivers. Lorna Benjamin says that, throughout our lives, we live with our parents “in our head”, 
and we use “copy processes” to feel close to them, as we did as children. The idea is that “Every 
psychopathology [including racket feelings and dysfunctional behaviors] is a gift of
love” (Benjamin, 1993). If we think in terms of ego states relational units (Joines, 2012), we can 
see how those internal attachments, affects and adapted behaviors are the basic blocks of our life 
scripts. Becoming aware of old patterns of behaviors give us the opportunity to choose, and regain 
spontaneity and intimacy.

Learning Objectives –

Participants will be able to:

List the 3 ego states

Describe the ego state development

Define what “adaptation” means

Describe the “ego state relational units” concept

Describe the basic copy processes

Describe the “gift of love” (GOL)

Describe at least two techniques to work with the GOL

Dates: April 28, 2023

Times: Friday 9:00 am-4:30 pm

Faculty: Jessica D’Andrea, Psy.D

Tuition: $190 Level: Advanced

CE Contact hours: 6